BIRMINGHAM

Our crack team of photo-journalists have been out all night again, with no time to go home or get changed, even brush their teeth, which are all ground down to black little points, just like their eyes.

CORRIE JANICE - 5FT TALL

'your next' read the post-it note on my hotel room door this morning. Que palpitations, que sweating palms. Naturally, I headed straight for the bar, where I was at once acosted by a man.

Stars Death was The Result of Some Form of Poisoning - possibly Alcohol. "How this amount of poison, possibly alcohol, was introduced into her system we will never know."

Phil Collins To Wed Sporty Mel

The Slur can exclusively reveal that teen pop heart throb Phil Collins [27] is all set to wed top TV Funny Man Mel Smith [36].

Nazi War Criminals behind some of the best love chart acts of the 90's.

D-Ream, Sinita, 2-Unlimited, Blur, Oasis, Boy-Zone, T-Three, all your favourites were manufactured by the same team of stylists that dressed The Third Reich in all that black leather gear, and all those Jews in the hessian bags and badly shorn heads popular with Surbiton Teens.

Imagine my horror upon confronting the ET-waistrell that was once Ginger Spice, everyone's favourite baby-oiled busty thirty something.

ELVIS LESBIAN

For a minute there I actually thought that The Scum had dressed up some poor prisoner of war in a flowery bikini. But oh no. Something is very very wrong. And I think I know thescore: something is eating away at the very flesh of our favourite stars: witness the likes of Friends, the Spices, even Sir Jim Davidson, wasting away to nothing before our very lenses.

"I Bought Gucci shoes" Claims John Travolta.

THIS MAN HAS
CORRUPTED A
GENERATION

Grant Morrison: Scottish

Are your kids next?

Grant Morrison, a 'writer'
from Scotland, is officially
the most evil man in Britain,
The Slur can X-clusively
reveal. Morrison, 41, wants to
make your sons wear dresses
and your daughters behave
exactly like boys.

HITLER

He has already corrupted a
generation of young men
and women to his perverted
ways.

CHILDREN

Ian Bradey actually made
recordings of Hitler's
speeches so that he could
hear his masters voice
whenever he 'felt the urge'.
Maybe Morrison has already
done exactly the same sort
of thing?

BUNGLING BANDITS TRAP TESTICLES IN LETTERBOX

send us pictures of your kids... cwoarrr....

THE TORIES SECRET DEATH CAMP PLANS

SICKO FARMERS FEED THEIR KIDS ON DEAD PROTESTORS!

POSH SPICE - IS HE?

TONY BLAIR - DOES HE BELIEVE IN JESUS?

GERI SPICE IN EVIL TWIN SHOCKER

FILTH, UTTER, UTTER FILTH

LABOUR - FIND OUT WHY TONY BLAIR IS ALWAYS SMILING

SPORT - WHY THE TORIES WANT TO BAN ALL SPORT, FOREVER.

CRACKWHORES AND THE POPE

an escapeart site